Happy 6 Months Sky!!!

Sky. Since having Sky, time moves very fast. I'm always doing some part of the daily routine and trying to process any of my thoughts seems impossible most days. Never mind getting all sentimental. But each child holds a special place in the time line of my life, and I think their birth (and I'm sure their life) teaches me something different as I'm still growing myself.

I don't think there was anyone that 'approved' of my pregnancy with Sky. I actually didn't even make it public knowledge until I was almost 6 months pregnant.

I got pregnant only a month and a half after having Jace; I was very sick every day and started working 50 hours a week, so I just didn't want to take on the load of what everyone else thought. I told the few that were super close to Danny and I. I didn't want to hear how we weren't ready for another baby and what was I thinking... It was all just noise in my head that I didn't need. I spent my pregnancy with Sky blocking out the noise and just trying to get through each day. Waking up at 5:30am to get ready for work, get Jace ready for the day and off we went. Jace was waking up all night the whole time. My daily routine included a bag to puke in because I couldn't keep any food down. And the medicine the doctor gave me knocked me out, so that wasn't an option. But every day I pushed myself because the things I was doing were truly important to my heart. To be a good mother. To be consistent and get through this roller coaster. Because these boys were more important than anything, or anyone. Including myself. Or that's how I was thinking. I was pushing way too hard. The day I almost passed out in the bathroom at the day care, I gave in. I couldn't take care of anyone if I didn't step back and take care of myself. So I sucked in my pride and stopped working. Really, I was working to pay for daycare as it was. I spent the days with Jace; wobbling around trying to keep food down. Enjoying our one on one time together. Still determined.

I had a c-section with Sky because the scar was so fresh from Jace's birth. It was hard because we didn't have any family local and Danny could only take off so much work. It was very rough to 'recover' from surgery and watch an 11 month old. The point of all this is not to complain; there are many worse pregnancies out there and I was blessed to have such a beautiful, healthy baby. And that is the point of it all. Sky's birth showed me purpose in my determination and hard work. To believe in myself and my choices. He amazes me every day. His big, beautiful blue eyes and his big smile... Always looking like he wants to get into something. I can't imagine a world without these boys I have. They give me a purpose; even when I question everything else. They give me a focus when I feel lost. They push me to do more than I thought I could. They are a blessing and I'm so glad I wouldn't let anyone tell me otherwise.

So, Happy Six Months Sky!! I can't believe you've already been in this world 6 WHOLE months!!! I am lucky enough to be your mom and see the path you are meant to take. I love you little boy, and I
always know that you were meant to be.